Afterwards
December 23, 2012 11 Comments
She feels like a monster
She says
Back and forth
While you break your liver even more
Taking antihistamines to cure self-consciousness
About Sean Lynch
Sean Lynch's work is crudely balanced between the visceral and cerebral. Lamont B. Steptoe has described Lynch’s writing as having a precociousness that is “observant and compassionate”.
11 Responses to Afterwards
Reply
Sounds like a self-esteem issue mixed with addiction to alcohol and/or prescription drugs.
Not that simple. Self-esteem is bullshit, I’m talking about more complex psychological problems here. And antihistamines aren’t prescription meds, it’s for allergies.
oh, i didn’t know that. thanks for telling me.
JUST A NICE ONE.
I love your enthusiasm neelkanth. Thank you.
pain….
That’s a part of it certainly
Love the rhythm. The timing where “more” rhymes with “forth,” in part because of the former line’s terseness followed by the latter’s extension of syllables, gives me the sensation of falling. It’s like when you start to vomit and stop abruptly, covering your mouth, and then surrender to a stream of it.
“Antihistamines” falls into the rhythm punctually like dominoes.
Yes I prefer off-rhythms and slant rhymes, I’m so pleased that you pointed this out. Lots of the stuff I love to write sounds better when read out loud, just as the stuff I love to read most is best read out loud. I also am glad that you saw the use of a stanza break to show different perspectives and a drastic change. And I am glad the poem feels like throwing up to you, that is wonderful, seriously. Thanks for the heartfelt, in-depth reply, as always.
Vous êtes nominés pour le Versatile Blog Award 2012. Merci de suivre le lien. Félicitations. Gys
You are nominated for the Versatile Blog Award 2012. Thank you follow the link. Congratulations. Gys
http://lgyslaine.wordpress.com/2012/12/26/versatile-blog-award-2012/
Thank you!