October 22, 2008: I don’t want to go to pizza class anymore. No matter how hard I try I can’t flip the dough. It’s too malleable.
January 8, 2009: I’m still behind the dumpster in the back of Papa John’s smoking angel dust.
March 12, 2009: I jumped off the roof of Taco Bell. I thought I was Superman.
March 13, 2009: I tried to rob the Taco Bell drive-thru. They only had 13 dollars in the register.
April 10, 2009: I took the purp and had stomach pains all day.
April 13, 2009: The pangs never went away.
April 14, 2009: I took too many. No, just enough. The pangs turned into sweet bliss.