Wearing a Burqa

Aching bones all day

albeit too young for arthritis.

The ink is all dried

up even though this contraption

is new. I should return shortly.

Precise. Much better, but not perfect,

fresh ink, yet the guidance is still the same.

These hands look far older.

Each morning I wake up

as bewildered as the one before.

Hello stranger.

I feel the same way

about myself. All is static.

That is, until the day that change has stealthily crept,

and all of a sudden she is standing

in front of you, staring you in the face.

These imaginary shades are constricting my view

as if I was wearing a burqa.


Constant death

not all around,

but internally

it pervades my being,

dominates my thoughts constantly.

Every moment I am in shock.

Surprised at my ability to breathe.

When I was very young,

I faintly remember an unbridled panic

at realizing the automatic act.

I would have to deliberately continue breathing,

until I would forget again, or If I was especially self aware,

I would eventually start to gasp for air.


How uncanny

the perpetual dichotomies of life:

angst and acceptance.

Not one person has a total lack of fear for falling by the wayside.

Although expectancy ingrains a kind of desire for death.

My heart was pounding

physical phenomenon in place of a forced out emotion.

My teeth are falling out,

perhaps from unconscious nighttime grinding.

It is late now. A different kind of perception.

I’m glad I can indulge in certain things. Things that have too often been taken for granted.

This type of ache feels like internally loosened blood dripping down.

And now I will try for the temporary blackness, if only it will come easy.

9 replies on “Wearing a Burqa”

I mean I didnt find light sitting in the dark, implying there are no lights at the end of some tunnels. But if you reach out you will find the ropes and help. Sometimes, when you feel down you cant see the help right in front of you. Hope this clears …….

You say you didn’t find the light, and then go on to say that instead you “grabbed hold of the many ropes of hopes, called, freinds, family, wisdom, faith, and at times sheer boredome”. So then what would you call “the light” if not any of the previously mentioned things? That statement baffles me.

I have been here, and I perhaps a bit more dire than this. But I didnt find the light. Instead I grabbed hold of the many ropes of hopes, called, freinds, family, wisdom, faith, and at times sheer boredome of being in this phase and not doing anything about it. That time has passed, I thrived. Now I write about such things.

Thanks for sharing.

Hello stranger… I also exist in this state of shock and bewilderment at my continued existence. I mean, how?

Crazy-good. But, you always have set the bar high. You just boil it down, concentrate it and sum it all up.

Hope you have an awesome week! 💋

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