Used to be resistant to the cold.
Used to turn some nothings into somethings.
There were many a used-to-be,
And then there was the end of them.
A certain threshold is through,
An abstract withering of what once was.
Used to be resistant to the cold.
Used to turn some nothings into somethings.
There were many a used-to-be,
And then there was the end of them.
A certain threshold is through,
An abstract withering of what once was.
I like this, though I am wondering about your choice of “through” instead of “crossed” in the last line.
The through foreshadows the abstract, and prepares for the alliteration in the following line. Also, a crossed threshold is a phrase used often, and I try to stay away from that because it doesn’t sound poetic to me.
This is a nice, concise poem. It says what it says directly. I’m replying like this because I won’t be able to post a comment till later in the day. You’re a prolific writer, that can be a help if you’re able to select out the best things for publication. Alex
Alexander Marshall pembroke5@aol.com
I really try to read and write as much as possible but it never seems like I’m doing enough. Which I guess is good.
I just found you here. I think I’m going to like you!
I’m glad you found me, and the photography I’ve seen of yours so far is really amazing. I’d like to be able to check out your doc film stuff as well!
Sean, thanks so much for your appreciation. I use my blog to experiment with new ideas and I haven’t put up much film stuff. But here are a couple of links to my documentary work. Youtube link to some short films, and IMDB link to my feature-length documentaries. Have a great day. Michele
http://www.imdb.com/name/nm0194840/
http://www.youtube.com/user/MicheleDAcosta