as you leak long and slow
worrying about rupture
all hunched over wincing
drunk off pain
you take a break from monotony
it’s raining outside right now
but that doesn’t matter what matters
is pain staring back at you thru a mirror
the absence of soul and meaning
knowing that if you could see forever
that there would be an infinite number of you
as the cold fluid supposedly water touches
your fingers suddenly stopping somehow automatically
when you should stop feeling
if only you’d stop feeling
How long does it take for you to bleed from your fingertips?
Medicine does not help dissimilar apes.
The television is right for once.
I am sorry, dad, I know you smell the smoke.
I know I let you down, I let myself down too.
I cried my eyes out so I could not see my mother anymore.
There was this metal plate pushing down on my head.
My second grade teacher did not care.
We were punished for not knowing how to spell “because”.
She did not teach us, it was ingrained.
Hey, little girl, I know that your insides hurt.
It makes me so sad to know that something could have been done.
My stomach hurts as well.
I felt your face in no one ever.
Pulled myself to touch,
held it for a grasp,
lost it all in passing.
It’s that time of year again. That time I stuff shit down my throat. The hours spent with sliding excrement clogging the tubes. The bright red blood in my stool. The shining fluid ejected. The dull and dense glorious empire, stuck upside down, cracked into two, withering away until drunks usurp the shattered throne. Would you rather be ruled by barbarians or perverts? You have no other choice. Rip out your hairs one by one, until your shoulder blades lament from forcing those imaginary feathers which were once all pieced together. Your liver is plucked from your gullet, and you can hardly choke. You reference that which you have learned time and time again. You repeat the process, you mimic others words. Then you do nothing, and you exist again. The same rhythmic sound turns itself over and over and you molest him from above. You control it from behind. You discover the power that inhabits within, you crave it just so you can abandon the pain. Your soul is damned.